Mein Kampf (My Struggle)

What up mofuckas, this the real shit right now niggas, it's Shitty Norah here straight up in this bitch! I am pretty fucking depressed right now, stupid ass Professor Snickers HAD TO TURN OUT TO BE A HOMOSEXUAL CAT!!!!!!!!!!! Oh well, I got someone else now, I got the one and only "ANDREW PEGLER", I have heard rumors he is bisexual. I texted Drew saying, "YO MOFUCKA I NEED SOME SERIOUS HUMAN PEEPEE RIGHT NOW". Drew was so ready he ran straight over, he shed eighty-six pounds on his way here. We instantly did some inappropriate things I can't explain right now. Anyways, It was Alice's birthday yesterday, she turned eight hundred and forty five in Catland, thirty two on earth. Therefore, she had her damn family over, even her nasty ass grandma whom always farted and shouted "I'M OUTRAGEOUS". While, also, because of this Alice was in a damn frenzy baking every FUCKING THING SHE COULD EVER BAKE. COOKIES, CAKES, PASTRYS, YOU FUCKING NAME IT, ALICE WAS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!!!!!! Anyways, with my frustration I decided to leave our shitty shack of a house. I went to Downtown Cat City. As I was down there I noticed there was a lot of screaming, and the BEST DAMN COOL JAZZ MUSIC I EVER HEARD! I made my way through the people and I realized it was my good friend "IJ the Saxophonist", I started cheering my ass off and I ran over the security fence. I was instantly tackled and punched severely in the face by body guards. The whole thing made a commotion and IJ stopped playing he ran over and said, "woah woah guys it's fine it's just Shitty Norah". They let her go and we started talking, he mentioned a party at his house after his concert, only the cool people were gonna be there, with all of the regions sexiest and funniest celebrity cats. I got super excited about the celebrity cats and because of my excitement I peed my pants. I was embarassed so I ran home and changed into my most beautiful black silk dress. I wanted to look sexy for all the cats that were going to be at the party. As I walked out of my bedroom, I noticed there was a nasty stench of body odor, and a shit ton of water on the floor in the kitchen. I questioned Alice, whom was in the bathroom, and I instantly noticed what was up when I saw her. She had been so far into a frenzy that she was, literally, completely drenched in sweat. THAT BITCH SMELT EVEN MORE MOFUCKING OUTRAGEOUS THEN HER GRANDMA! I ran to the bathroom and puked all of the food from the day into the toilet, even the dairy queen from earlier, sadly

:( Luckily my dress was fine, I drove my 1994 Chevy Corsica, which was really rusted out, to IJ's 40,000,000 million dollar mansion in Catsos Angeles. Once I got there there was one of those cat-human hybrids as a bodyguard. The guy checked for 'Shitty Norah", and I walked in. I WAS AMAZED! There was catnip hanging from the ceiling everywhere, and even TONS AND TONS OF DISHES MADE WITH TUNA!!!!!! I COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF I DRANK FIVE GALLONS OF LEMONADE, AND THIRTY POUNDS WORTH OF TUNA CASSEROLE!!!!! IJ seemed pretty upset, but he quickly forgot about it because he was talking to CATLENA GOMEZ!!!!! She of course was flirting with IJ, but he didn't care, he wasn't into cats. She kept telling him how sexy latino men are, and how he wanted to perform for her privately in a room with his soprano sax. Her boyfriend Catstin Bieber walked out and got pissed because of her flirting, he clawed the shit out of her and then they left. I said hi to IJ, and he said to enjoy the party and that he had business to attend to. So he left me in the middle of his FUCKING MANSION ALONE! I was feeling really awkward until GUESS WHO SHOWED UP! CATOLD TRUMP!!!!!! He started talking about how he hates IJ, and how he's going to send him back to earth and specificly to Mexico once he became president of Catland. I slapped the shit out of him and said "IJ was born in Dallas, Texas, therefore he was a natural US born citizen. I slapped him so hard his tupae flew off and he started crying like a kitten and he ran away, lolz :):):) xD Another human-cat hybrid walked out and said that I couldn't and shouldn't slap cats because they are so cute, and little, and, most of the time, harmless. I apologized and she left. It was getting late so I got tired, I fell asleep on the floor. When I woke up it was three a.m. and there was a bunch of cats standing around drunk as fuck on catnip. Catprah Winfrey walked up and started asking me if she could interview me, I told her no and she left. After I had met all of my favorite cat celebrities, Catlor Swift, Catin Timberlake, Catiffer Lopez, Catele,

and CatBron James, I left the party. I HAD A BLAST, I EVEN GOT CATIN TIMBERLAKE'S NUMBER!!!!!!!!!! I ran home and I was instantly tired again, I am typing this blog post and I am falling asleep right now. SO SEE YA MOFCUKAS, AND DON'T EAT TOO MUCH CATNIP, BECAUSE THAT SHIT WILL FUCK YOU UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOP: Catold Trump, Second: Catlena Gomez, Third: Catsin Bieber, Bottom: Catele